Am I Worth Trusting Even? (Not Okay)

For the longest time people have been telling me to change. One told me I'm too quiet.
The other might of well tell me that I should always lie to her. I did nothing wrong these last few days and now I am.  I have never been one to stand up for myself. Least of all. I am afraid of being regected.
The reason why I am doing this here is.. Well I needed to tell someone. I'm sorry. I am not okay. I am not okay at all. 
I lost one friends this year that I thought was one of my best friends in real life. Turned out. I was very much treated like Fuuka in Persona 3. I learned that the friend always laughed about me behind my back and wanted my parents to buy everything in the world for her, want to know what I mean she even wanted to buy a computer, 400 dollar. The problem is she's still trying to call..
I also as I was telling Minto last night. When I first started rping, thankfully I had winxy during this time though I have told people this story in the past. A guy who was my best friend yelled at me just cause I was asking a question to a social teacher at a restaurant about conservative vs. liberal. He started yelling at me and called my parents poor. I just sat there and took it quietly. Like I always do.
Then another person online, said that I needed to change. Not be so quiet. They also when I was on vacation in July. I discovered when I came back. She insulted everyone on this chat thing that Winxy and I both were in. She said I don't put heart and soul into my characters and I am quiet again.
Then the other day, I tried to come out of my shell and tell this girl that my feelings were hurt. She did try to explain, but even when she explained that it wasn't a love interest. I tried to say that the song she choose made both of our characters look low, that our characters were greedy with the guy in the film, not allowing anyone else to get used to them. I never fought with her. All she did was scream at me and that is not okay. She did change the song as an apology. Cause I feel like I'm still holding the cake that she too wants me to change. This time to become a liar. I'm sorry, but the more and more I think of it and what happened. Does she want me to become a liar? What's the point. I can't be honest. 
To be honest, I was afraid of her quitting something she loves doing and I might have sounded overly apologetic. She made me feel sorry for her even if all she did was yell at me for trying to be honest with her. And in the end. She din't really apologize at all. She ended up changing the song to a video that she had promised already that she would do the night before. And to pity walk is just a way to make a person feel sorry.The girl that yelled should have known that we were just trying to be honest with her to protect her too, not trying to hurt her in any way. She left me feeling that all she wants from me is not to be a friend to her,unless I lie to her all the time. If she truly loved something then she wouldn't threat to walk away from it, which I doubt she would have. I felt so bad that it sounded like I was pushing her away. I'm not. I don't want to be a burden to her. I want her to accept me for who I am and know I was honestly trying to protect her.
So what am I supposed to do? I feel like with all these circumstances on how 4 friendships, ended up with me just ending them or me trying to be bigger. I'm sorry, but all this needed to come out cause I feel like as I said on the other film a villain cause I am quite, honest, and I can easily get hurt. I am only human. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to expect that I will be okay. I'm sorry, but all this needed to come out. I am afraid of being rejected. Ending up friendless. Which I probably will. 
I am sorry if I hurt any feelings while writing this. I just wanted to be honest with how I feel again, though all that seems to do is create trouble for me. I am sure she didn't mean any harm in all she did. I still love her and I want to be her friend. I just don't think leaving this with me feeling that all she wants from me is to lie. Is okay. To leave things the way they are. It's not okay. Not at all. I'm sorry. I am really really really hurt.